Don’t feel sorry for me!

Posted on: February 9, 2012

One thing I hate about telling strangers that my son has Autism is their severe lack of understanding. I’ve had all sorts, “I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.” “Oh no.” Looks of sheer disgust and then “I am really sorry.”

No! I don’t want your sympathy I want your understanding.

Autism is an invisible disability, and don’t all us parents with an autistic child know it.

One thing that I hate more than anything, is the stares from people when A, is distressed in public because its too crowded, or we’ve entered a shop which has lights that are too bright, or I’ve simply walked a way he didn’t want to go!

I was always told “Its rude to stare” – seems I was the only one.

Autistic children see the finer details rather than the bigger picture, which explains why some are so good at things such as jigsaws or building towers.
So when they enter shops, they normally will just focus on one thing, could be anything, but then they notice all the things we don’t think of, the lighting, the walls full of posters, reams and reams of full shelves, the noises from the customers, from the trolley gliding across the floor, the fridges!

Some Autistic children have very heightened senses of smell or sound, all of this information becomes to much and they have a sensory overload, in mine or your words, a tantrum/meltdown.

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there, we’re in a supermarket doing our shopping, young child screaming. We all blame the parents, we all think the child is naughty, we all JUDGE!

So the next time your doing your shopping in the supermarket and you hear a child screaming, don’t stop and stare, just carry on as normal. As the adult with the (Autistic) child knows just how to handle the stressful situation and doesn’t need the constant stares of disgust or sympathy.

My son, is who he is, I love him for his uniqueness, for the way he can make me laugh without saying a word, and his funny ways. And even though he is non-verbal, he has the best personality.

So do not pity me, do not feel sorry for me…..

Because I’m the luckiest Mum in the world.


6 Responses to "Don’t feel sorry for me!"

You have excelled yourself again – I am almost at a loss for words (first time for everything) – Everyone should read this. šŸ™‚

You are so right! I get looks from disgust to pity any time I have K out. People get right out of the way, as if he’s contagious or something! Everyone can see he has Down Syndrome but as we all know, Autism is invisible.

Its like reading my own story this blog. Couldn’t hv said it any better

Thanks for the great post. My wife and I have twins on the spectrum and often get the “Man you are a saint” or “your life must be so hard” comments. I LOVE my life and I LOVE my kids – your post hit home.

Thank you for your comment, I’m glad you could relate to it. I just hope more read this post. I will follow and read your blog once at the computer. Xx

That is such a great post.
My 28 year old son has had a late diagnosis of Asperger’s but was diagnosed with dyslexia/specific learning difficulties as a child. I recognise a lot of his ways in your post. Unfortunately he has other physical disabilities but also an amazing sense of humour that pops up from no where and floors us from time to time. I have learnt so much from him and I’m in awe of some of the things he can do and, yes,I feel lucky.

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